A few years ago, I created a tumblr account, today I created a blog. This is for the small victories in life and the small failures.

Category: Central Washington University

Cap and Gown

The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.



Sun punishes my pale, unscreened face. The decorated red cap provides no protection as it glides from the back of my head to the soft, warm grass. As we are guided to our seats, onlookers scream and cheer our names. The mid-life crisis key note speaker drones about his own “rite of passage” 30 or so years ago. His hangover story the day of graduation suddenly reminds me of Franco’s flask as the sun bears down on the gowns at 10am. Secretly hoping that the camera would glimpse me, I take a quick swig and pass it down to Zach.


Queue the adolescents.

Cue their names.

Hand them empty folders.


Deafened by the crowd, I hope to hear the cheers of my vocational family.










I fight to say “good luck”, “have fun”, “see you later” and embrace my friends when suddenly my phone chirps.



We’ll meet you at your house.


“What degree?”           “Why English?”           “What now?”               “Why don’t you move back?”

“Why don’t you move back?”              “What degree?”           “Why English?”           “What now?”

“What now?”               “Why don’t you move back?”      “What degree?”       “Why English?”

“Why English?”           “What now?”               “Why don’t you move back?”        “What degree?”


I feel my face flushing, voice straining, and patience waning. My soccer mom Aunt Kara calls me an “ungrateful bitch” and refuses to leave the car. 15 minutes later, my mom and grandma climb back in the SUV to go thrifting, leaving me with my 6’7” step-dad Jeff to take me home before he drives back to Wenatchee alone.


Undressing in the heat and curling, crawling into my covers, I celebrate by myself as my eyes drift slowly.



The blood of artists.

Artist Blood


Like Shelley’s water

boating phobia.


Like Keats’ blood—

speckling cough.


Like Van Gogh’s ear

clipping razor.


Like Plath’s oven

burning flesh.


Like Cobain’s little

drug addiction.


Like Ledger’s alcohol

chased prescription.


Like heroin in the addict’s system,

sorrow laces the blood of artists.


When I was younger,

I mistook my blood for melancholy.


The greats all die young

my professor once told me.


P.S. This is one of my personal favorites.

Modeled after Jennifer L. Knox’s “The Opposite of Crunchberries”

From Fuck to Fuck


The opposite of fuck is love.

The opposite of love is, likely, racism.

The opposite of racism

is watching your white son marry someone not white


and crying tears of joy.

The opposite of tears is tears

in your favorite sweater

that you try to fix in desperate desperation.


The opposite of desperate

desperation is thinking optimistically.

The optimism opposite

is a mental illness that was cool before it was cool.


The opposite of hipsters is

hippies with bell bottom jeans and a tie dye shirt.

The opposite of adults

is a single child with no fucks to give.


P.S. This was a poem for an assignment that changed drastically. It used to make more sense.

Quotes and Secrets

It’s been a really rough couple of weeks. (1) Thanskgiving, (2) Family, (3) School, and (4) Friends. I’ve been trying to find jobs and places to live in Ellensburg. It’s actually kind of difficult.

(1) I hate holidays. I hate them. They are filled with meaningless small talk and repeated questions. And Thanksgiving is always a really small gathering full of people who don’t listen to what we say. So this year we went to my aunt’s house afterwards. There was somewhere between 30-60 people there. Just the way I like it.

(2) Family is awesome if you have a good communicative family. I didn’t. It’s getting better. But it’s still not there yet. And I had a traumatizing childhood. So I’m not a huge fan of family gatherings. But Thanksgiving was still pretty bad.

(3) School is stressful. Grades, classes, presentations. Oh. I also wrote this fabulous poem for Poetry Writing. But I don’t think I will be able too read it allowed. I am physically not able to read it. Stupid mouth and tongue and speech skills.

(4) Friends. Many many issues. I guess I got upset with one of my friends because of some things that were said. Being upset was completely valid, and I didn’t do anything. Besides wait 3 days for a confrontation. And I skyped my friend in Canada for a long time. It was the most we’ve talked since living in the same town. I even talked to one of my other friends via phone after I got super upset. And after explaining  some things, he made me feel better. Anyway, lots of stress and tears and pain. Because Humans hurt one another. And Pain demands to be felt.

Also, I am on this medication. And it kind of works. Dehydration, Hallucinations, and Insomnia have been happening. But they’re very mild. And all of the side effects simply happen at night. It makes me feel artistic. I guess I am an artist. Plus these are more than likely symptoms of my problem not being suppressed by the meds.

Also I have been doing this thing to distract myself. I find a famous poet or author’s birthday on the day that it is. And I post quotes by them all day. I usually pick quotes  that really hit me hard.



Devastating News

Hey all,

I’m writing to tell you all that my dreams have died. I am staying in Ellensburg after I graduate from CWU. This does not necessarily mean that my dream of living in Seattle is dead. It is just dead for now.

The reason this happened is because my roommate backed out due to Seattle being expensive and being in limbo until grad school. Well, it is. And since my housing plans were all messed up, and I only had one for sure job, and I’m altogether incapable of going back to Seattle to apartment hunt before I need to move in. So my dream is dead.

I would move back home, but that’s not really an option for me. Due to personal and occupational reasons. Personal being none of your beeswax unless you and I are close friends or friends who want to be close. Occupational being that there are even less writing jobs in Wenatchee than there are in Ellensburg. Who would have thought? Oh wait. I did. That’s why Seattle. 

Anywho I’m still kind of upset that I’m not going to Seattle. And by kind of, I mean a lot. But I know it is what’s right. I had a bad feeling about Seattle. And while I have a good feeling about Ellensburg, it feels wrong to stay after graduation. But it is much better than going back to live with my parents. No matter what, I would have been in a state of limbo until grad school. At least in Ellensburg, I will have help from my previous professors. I just might not get as much of the professional writing experience that I need. Audible sigh. 

And it means I can keep in touch with all my old friends and get closer to my new ones. Before/after work. But I will have more employment opportunities because I’m not restricted by a school schedule. This whole thing hurts. So I’m ending it right here.


P.S. I’m sorry for bothering you, but thank you. I really needed to talk to my best friend–at least the one that could calm me down and make me feel better.

P.P.S. If you are a new friend, this means facebook/email/text me in order to hang out!

Recent Things

  • I want to be a poet.
  • I want to go to Iowa for Grad school.
  • I borrowed this amazing book.
  • I started watching really amazing shows.
  • I go apartment hunting tomorrow.
  • My insomnia is back.

So I kind of accidentally rediscovered myself. I guess I have been blocking out certain aspects of myself subconsciously. And taking this Poetry Writing course has really brought back my creative side. It’s also part of the reason why I want to go to Grad School at Iowa State. Apparently my professor has connections. And I met the admissions director. And I’m super poor. But when I start applying places, I’m definitely going to try there. Oh. And speaking of Poetry Writing. I had no idea this class would be so great. It’s not even really the coursework, but the people. I think our class has gotten pretty close–even though we only meet once a week. And I’m going to be really sad when I move away. But I have new friends. And I ain’t about to disappear for good. Because I would like to keep some of those friends! Speaking of Poetry Writing friends, I have a book in my possession that is not mine. And no I did not steal it. But I might. But I won’t. (I’m obviously still debating if I want to give it back.)

Anyway, this book is the most amazing thing that I have ever read. It definitely looks like something I wrote, if I had had all that knowledge. This book is called How To Be a Person The Stranger’s Guide To College. And it is the truest book you will ever read. But apparently it ships film nerds with english nerds. And apparently neither know much about the other. There is a section called “Everything you need to know to successfully flirt with film nerds” and another section called “Spoiler alerts for big novels so you can flirt with english nerds as if you’ve already read them” and that’s it. No more flirting sections for anyone else. There’s this great Poetry section.  And a section about describing certain types of people and the old people one is particularly hilarious. Pretty much all of the sex section is just screwing with you. But in a really sarcastic and humorous way. It’s super perfect. There’s a great section on Feminism. I demand all of you read it. Because women are PEOPLE. (What!?)

Oh and I started watching The 100 and Red vs. Blue. And they are both amazing. The 100 reminds me of Lost but with super attractive people and sex and outer space. Red vs. Blue is full of very funny jokes. Kind of the same type of comedy as How To Be a Person.

Tomorrow I start the long and distant journey of traveling all the way to Seattle, WA. This where my mother, my future roommate, and I will all be touring apartments and deciding which apartment we would like to call home. I am super anxious but excited at the same time.

And apparently my rediscovery of myself has led to the rediscovery of my insomnia.

Here are some pictures from the book that you need to read to prove to you that you need to read it:

IMG_5259IMG_5260 IMG_5263IMG_5264



P.S. Thank you fellow nerd who lent me this book. I definitely will maybe give it back to you.


P.P.P.S. The end of this book has a page purely dedicated to discussing the fonts they chose. I am super happy about this because I was actually curious about what fonts the used.

Cat Therapy

This week has been super stressful and I have not been feeling well lately. So I went to the doctor and was prescribed me something. Unfortunately, I might need a few more tests before anything can be confirmed or treated perfectly. Ick.

I’ve also been easily irritated and tired and emotional this week. It sucks. I went to go see Interstellar in Theaters. And I paid $11.00 to cry for about 120/169 minutes of the movie. I mean, it was a great emotional release and stuff, but totally not worth $11.00. I’m frugal. Good movie though.

OOH. And I had a fantastic version of cat therapy this weekend too. I got to play with this cat:


Oh. And I guess Aaron visited all weekend and stuff. We were supposed to film a script on Saturday, but it was really cold and a lot of things were going haywire so the shoot was canceled. So instead the crew played video games all weekend and went to go see Interstellar at the movie theaters. It was really great to see one of my closest friends and talk to him face to face rather than facebook.

But the cat was the best. She would have followed him home. Aaron’s apparently the cat whisperer. But she napped with me while everyone else was playing video games. Although having a chauffeur was really nice this weekend, Aaron’s back in Seattle sleeping. (Also my apartment searching is going about as well as my job searching, which is fantastic!)


Haircuts and cats

So I totally went home to get a haircut. And to pet my cats. So that venture went really well. I was super exhausted before I left and my boss bought me my first starbucks and brought it back for me before I left. It was super nice and awesome because I really love starbucks and I’m super poor.


And I drove back home and spent some quality time with my grumpy, people hating cats. Although Tiffy was happy that he had someone to turn on the faucet so he could rehydrate himself.


And then of course my hair died and fell off my head with some help from my cousin and her scissors. I think it’s commonly referred to by a normal person as a haircut. Therefore my face with same hair but less.


OOH. And I totally found a blast from the past with a modern twist on it. I used to drink these things all the time but I never even fathomed that they would a mango peach flavor.



I have a job!

Why hello all fans and followers and hopefully friends. I have been super busy these past couple of weeks with classes and work and applying places. And I have some really exciting news to share with you all!

I am graduating in December! And afterwards, I am moving into an apartment with my fellow CWU graduate–in Seattle! I have a job at Macy’s and an interview at Regal Entertainment! I’m super excited and I’m looking for apartments and other jobs–which is why these posts are scattered and all over the place.

And I will be walking for Graduation! Which of course means that I will be having a graduation party! And I got a hair cut for interviews. And I may be getting my hair recolored before the move! And eeeeeeeeee!



P.P.S. And my best friend is visiting this weekend. And HAPPY.

I’m famous…probably

Screen Shot 2014-10-25 at 11.45.05 PM

So I’m kind of in the school newspaper. And they quoted me a lot. And I’m kind of famous. The most famous people are always on page 11–in my opinion. So I feel really cool.

Also, I have been super busy. So posts aren’t going to be always and forever, more like thin and scattered. Like I just got distracted for an hour and a half right now by looking for a roommate/room in Seattle. I got some good leads. And earlier, I applied to somewhere around 15 different places. So I’m like graduating. And moving. And growing up. And being independent. AND I’LL FINALLY GET MY CAT{S} BACK.

So yeah, I’ve been applying places, working, studying, sleeping, eating, and socializing. But the last one is basically clubs otherwise I’m too busy.

But I’m kind of famous. And awesome. And tired. And I stayed up way too late–again.


P.S. I don’t have a post script :O


P.P.P.S. If you know anyone who needs a roommate in the Seattle area, let me know!