A few years ago, I created a tumblr account, today I created a blog. This is for the small victories in life and the small failures.

Soup Lids Can Kill… Assholes Who Don’t Like You

I like to scoff in the face of people who say I’m lazy. Okay, that’s not true. But I like to think of myself scoffing in their faces. Some people deserve to be somewhat lazy. I mean–I can’t support myself with one job at minimum wage in this economy, how can I expect someone else to.

I work not one but two minimum wage jobs.

I work at least 55 hours a week.

I don’t have a day off.

I take care of my car.

I take care of three cats.

I have insomnia.

I haven’t had a free summer in over 3 years.

Instead of High School, I got my AAS from community college before I turned 18.

I got my BA in English 6 months before I turned 21.

I am currently studying for the GRE.

And I get yelled at a lot. For a lot of things I didn’t do. But I like/need my jobs.

I live alone in a two bedroom apartment that is $400 more than my last rent.

And I still find time to hang out with my friends. Or binge watch netflix.

So I’m sorry if I seem lazy or irritable to you. It might just be that I didn’t get any sleep between my shifts at the motel and my shifts at the restaurant. Or I might just be out of it and slicing my thumb open on a freaking soup lid. (Btw, it was the sole reason I left before the other person on my job.) Anyway, there is no reason for me to be taking shit and to be called lazy.

I work hard to be where I am in life.

eI work hard to be who I am in life.

And you don’t have to be my friend or my family if you don’t like me for me.


P.S. I actually did slice my thumb open on a soup lid. And for once I did go home before the other expo. I mean, I still did all of the work stocking and such. But I got to take the first break and leave before the other expo. Which has literally never happened once since I started expoing. So it was awesome. Plus now I know to stay away from soup lids before they kill someone. (And I really do love my job at the restaurant.)


1 Broke Girl; 2 jobs

Awhile back I was having a really tough time finding a job. But I put on my adult panties and went around to every place that I knew was hiring. As a result, I was instantly hired at a restaurant.

Unfortunately, the hours didn’t get me enough money for rent and food much less paying student loans. So I continued the job search for a second job.

This time I was hired by a motel to be a front desk person with a guaranteed 32 hours a week.

And that is the story of how I became a slave to the American system and exhaustion. It is also the reason behind the lack of posts.


To you assholes

who didn’t believe in me.

When I started working at the restaurant, a lot of people said I wouldn’t make it because they don’t think I’m a people person.

A lot of people thought I was doing poorly because they came in during the busy times.

But instead of getting my usual $15-$20 tips, I’ve been getting $30-$40. Which is awesome. Especially since it was super busy. And instead of each table giving me the usual $2-$3 tip. I get $4+. Today, I got a $10.00 tip.

Therefore I’m winning.

Suck it.


April fools: Feminism poetry(?)

So I’ve been extremely focused on my League career. Mostly because I’m a few games shy of level 30.

But anyways, I came up with a good joke that might end up being a poem after some editing. Let me know what y’all think:

Screen Shot 2015-04-01 at 6.36.25 AM


Poem-A-Day: Haikus!

Cycles of Nature

a series of haikus


Fields—dry and barren—

warmed by hot waves from the sun—

a wild fire waiting.


Raindrops dripping down

onto leaves of all colors—

leaving the air crisp.


Glistening branches—

wet and white, covered but bare—

seem almost lifeless.


Buds burst into bloom—

a phoenix from the ashes

ascending to life.


LoL Things That Piss People Off

I’ve been playing a lot of League lately. And I have compiled a list of polite gaming behavior that players should use.

  1. Don’t be an asshole.

That’s it. But some people don’t understand. So here are some easy guidelines:

  • Call your lane. If someone has already called that lane, call a different one. Switch it up. You want proficiency in all lanes and as a jungler–not just as bot lane. Support and ADC are bot lanes. 
  • Tell people if you’ve never played your character before. If this is your first time playing as Fiora (or other character), tell your teammates. They will appreciate it and be patient. Also, they will most likely give you tips on how to play her (or other character).
  • Call your missing enemies. A lot of people ping to call for assistance, to signal retreat, and most importantly if your enemy is mia and might be heading to gank. If you do it, your teammates will be grateful and they’ll start doing it (in most cases).
  • Leash your Jungler. A lot of people will either have 2 top and 2 bot, or 1 top, 1 jungler, and 2 bot. The jungler needs to be leashed. This means help them kill their first monster. Make sure they don’t die. Experienced junglers will ping you away, when they have a handle. Otherwise watch and help for a bit. But make sure you don’t kill the monster. That’s the jungler’s job.
  • Answer your teammates assistance calls. If you teammate dies, your teammate will feed an enemy–an enemy who will soon be too amped up to kill unless taken care of ASAP. This will hurt your team. Answer your teammates calls for help. And they’ll be more keen to answer your calls.
  • Don’t kill steal. If your teammate has ample health and is about to kill an enemy, don’t kill the enemy yourself. If you’re either in a mess of a battle with 4 or more champions and struggling, or if your teammate is low health, kill stealing is okay. But if they put up a fuss about it, apologize. 
  • Don’t put up a fuss about kill stealing. Seriously, don’t do it. Especially if you are playing a support or ranged character. Your main goal as support or ranged, is to support your team. You should get more assists than kills. Likewise, if your teammate is a support or ranged character, don’t be a baby. They will not have nearly as many kills as you, with some exceptions. Let them get a few kills. If kill stealing becomes a real problem, bring it up on chat. If the problem isn’t addressed then, report the player after the game.
  • Don’t be a dick in chat. If you’re playing with someone not as experienced or leveled as you, don’t repeatedly call them a noob, stupid, dumb, retarded, or any other names. Not even if they’re the asshole doing that and you want to call them an asshole. Report the player after the game for verbal harassment. Don’t harass them back. Don’t lash out at them either. Don’t spam the chat either. It’s distracting and could kill a teammate inadvertently while they’re looking at your 50 pings. Offer help if a teammate is feeding or looks like they need help. Don’t tell them to go fuck themselves or that they’re such a fucking noob and so stupid.  EVER. You have no idea what is happening on their side of the screen.
  • Don’t join a game if you have to be afk at any point. Bathroom breaks are okay during long deaths. Emergencies are okay. But don’t start a game then leave for a concert halfway through. It will cost your teammates the game. League will penalize you and your teammates will report you. Vomiting and such emergencies are okay. Sucky internet is okay.  But if you’ve been throwing up every 15-20 minutes, please don’t start a game. You won’t be able to finish it. And it will hurt your team. Likewise if you’ve been trying to playing a game 3-5 times and your internet is being funky and keeps disconnecting you, don’t start another game. It’s not cool to your teammates. They will be playing 4 against 5 most of the time. It’s just not cool.
  • Don’t be afraid to report players who are abusing you or are purposefully hurting your chances of winning. That’s why there’s a report button.
  • Honor and add players frequently. At the very least, honor the players you admire.

This has been how to be a good/neutral player on League of Legends.


Roomates are gone? PARTY TIME.

Currently, I am home alone–excluding my two cats. One of my roommates it’s either on vacation for spring break, or just living with her boyfriend during that time. The other one is taking four days off and vacationing somewhere. Anyways, that means I am home alone. And I was told I could throw a party or do whatever. So guess what I’m doing?

I’m watching musicals. And playing WoW and LoL. And using the dishwasher.

I started with Aladdin just for the hell of it.

Then I started watching Repo! The Genetic Opera.

And I’m almost done with Hairspray.

I’m not sure where I will go after that, but I miss Fiddler on the Roof and Phantom of the Opera.

Ooh I also have Moulin Rouge!.

Long story short: I am the best roommate you could ask for.


P.S. We usually hand wash our dishes because there’s not that many.

The blood of artists.

Artist Blood


Like Shelley’s water

boating phobia.


Like Keats’ blood—

speckling cough.


Like Van Gogh’s ear

clipping razor.


Like Plath’s oven

burning flesh.


Like Cobain’s little

drug addiction.


Like Ledger’s alcohol

chased prescription.


Like heroin in the addict’s system,

sorrow laces the blood of artists.


When I was younger,

I mistook my blood for melancholy.


The greats all die young

my professor once told me.


P.S. This is one of my personal favorites.

Newspapers and Van Gogh

Syria Assists U.S. in Strikes Against ISIS

I am a wilting flower.
My brothers and sisters shine.

Why am I not sun
as I am flower?

I am America’s ally

in the strikes against
brothers—my own brothers.

A dozen sunflowers
sit in a bicolored vase and
one is wilting—

I wilt, because
I am America’s ally.


P.S. I mixed two poems together. One on a newspaper article and the other on Van Gogh’s Sunflowers. 

Modeled after Jennifer L. Knox’s “The Opposite of Crunchberries”

From Fuck to Fuck


The opposite of fuck is love.

The opposite of love is, likely, racism.

The opposite of racism

is watching your white son marry someone not white


and crying tears of joy.

The opposite of tears is tears

in your favorite sweater

that you try to fix in desperate desperation.


The opposite of desperate

desperation is thinking optimistically.

The optimism opposite

is a mental illness that was cool before it was cool.


The opposite of hipsters is

hippies with bell bottom jeans and a tie dye shirt.

The opposite of adults

is a single child with no fucks to give.


P.S. This was a poem for an assignment that changed drastically. It used to make more sense.